How to Doubt Like a Boss

So I legit just finished crying. Never mind that it’s likely that time of the month. For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently prepping for software engineering interviews. I know, exciting right 😜? I’ve got a perfect plan and everything. But no matter how amazing this vision is, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a regular human being who sometimes feel strong emotions triggered by random shit like the societal expectation of getting a degree. Yeah, you caught me. My face was wet cause I felt doubtful about not graduating college.

What? Just because I meditate, know web development, practice self-awareness like it’s my bible or published a video of me being candid as fuck about my school and work situations, it doesn’t mean there aren’t moments when pessimistic or doubtful thoughts creep in.

Note: This doubt derives from the few people who have told me straight up that I wouldn’t be able to achieve what I wanted to without a degree. Their words tend to sneak back into my head every now and then, especially when my hormones are thrown out of whack and causes internal misalignment.

So, what the hell do you do when those nasty, doubtful thoughts come back in? Wellps, I’ve created a list of steps to help me answer this question.

Before we go through the steps I first want to give a shout out to my beau for reminding me that it’s okay to feel doubt. Contrasting emotions such as doubt are like fun, little internal battles challenging us to strengthen our values or beliefs or, as we’ll learn, maybe even change our route for the better. This is why I’ve decided to give doubt a little credit and title this list the “Doubt Like a Boss” list. These simple steps/reminders helped me gain clarity and feel better again. I hope that they help you too.

Steps to Doubting Like a Boss

1. Figure out why you’re doubtful.

For now, forget about who doubted you and pinpoint the root reason(s) why you began to second guess yourself. Doing this made me realize that I was only subconsciously stressed out about coding interviews. And the reason why is because I haven’t committed that much time this week to solving algorithms.

Did you catch that? I went from being general to having specific, beneficial details I can focus on rather than be distracted by a cloud of negative, doubtful thoughts. You can almost guess what happens next.

2. Screw the doubters.

Bet ya didn’t guess that, huh? Let’s set our zen-self aside for a sec to tell our external doubters to go fuck themselves (in our minds, of course). Alright, now that we got that outta the way, we also need to do the same to the doubtful voice inside of our heads. This will be easier to do now that you know the exact reason why you’re feeling like you lack. The only thing left to do now is, well, to actually do something about it.

3. Screw the doubters some more.

You screw the doubters even more by imagining a reality where their doubts are proven utterly wrong. Doesn’t that feel good? And what’s even better is through action, planning, and commitment, you can. Use the root reason of your doubt that you found earlier as guidance as to what to do next in order to get a step closer to your goal. That could mean changing your route just a little.

As for me, I just ordered the famous green interview book every recently-interviewed engineer owns and also cleared other plans this weekend to focus solely on reading the book over/solving algorithm problems.

4. Forgive the doubters & rest when you need to.

Taking a break from work may be kind of stressful when you think your goal is to prove doubters wrong. I mean, I know I told ya to envision a reality where that’s the case, but that was only to distract you from the negative feeling of doubt. Your one and only goal should be to do whatever the hell you need to do to rid yourself of those second thoughts and feel good again. And in order to make this step way easier, we’ll need to let go of negative feelings by forgiving our doubters.

The easiest way to do this is to remind yourself that they have no idea who they’re talking about, and that’s okay. Sometimes people don’t know any better simply because they’re not the ones living your life. So definitely give them the benefit of the doubt and then slowly distance yourself from them. Just kidding. But really though, like I said, do whatever you need to do to feel good. Just don’t forget that only you have a say in whether or not you get to turn your dreams or goals into a reality.

That’s it for today,

If you have any other steps/reminders to add to this list, share it in the comments section below. Alright, see y’all tomorrow! But if you want to stay in touch until then, catch me on 💁Twitter, Youtube or Instagram.